Life, along with the unexpected events which ‘invade’ it and throw us out of kilter, can seemingly get in the way of our relationship with God.

At least, that is what happened to me.

For some time, things were moving along swimmingly, in calm waters. Sure, there were occasional ripples, always expected, yet no turbulence to speak of. My life was one of seemingly comfortable daily routines – good sleep, waking refreshed, energetic, raring to go, chatting with God, engaging in blocks of time for prayer, reflection and contemplation, some exercise, eating, writing, tackling events as they arose, and going with the flow. Until….

The waters became rough and muddied!

On a trip away from home, a loved one became sick, was rushed to the emergency department of hospital, admitted for treatment and a multitude of tests undertaken to find the cause of the illness. I was by her side the whole time, attempting to show strength to comfort and reassure, communicating progress to family, holding onto the positives, albeit masking the anxious churning worry and uncertainty within. Still, God was with me, speaking words of eternal love.

What followed, after the hospitalisation, was a two-month period of treatment and recovery, involving frequent visits to medical clinics, health practitioners and health professionals. My role moved to that of fulltime carer, with the focus on being fully present, supporting my loved one, who was now totally dependent on me. That’s where love comes to the fore!

However, my comfortable daily routines were abandoned, out of necessity and my time was no longer my own. Established bedtimes went by the board, sound sleep became rare, and I struggled to get out of bed, feeling tired and less than energetic.

The early morning chats and prayers of offering with God slowly waned, as tiredness overwhelmed. Imperceptibly, the treasured times for prayer, reflection and contemplation became less frequent, eventually ceasing altogether. Without realising it, my thoughts rarely turned to God. Yet, through it all, I remained fully focussed and committed to caring for my loved one and her recovery.

As my loved one gradually recovered and began to resume life as we knew it, the realisation of my seemingly ‘broken’ relationship with God dawned and challenged me! There was a fleeting sensation of guilt – until I went inside, to the core of my being, where God resides, And God spoke to me, lovingly – as God always does!

Every moment of caring for my loved one had been a prayer. Despite the lack of conscious thoughts of God, everything I did was for God.  What I perceived as brokenness was a blessing.

Dutch-born Catholic priest, Henri Nouwen, wrote, “We are called to give our lives to others, so you and I can bear fruit. And all brokenness, and all dying, and all suffering is there to allow you to enter into solidarity with the whole human family, and to give yourselves to others so that your life can bear fruit. God asks you not to have a successful life but to have a fruitful life” [Sowing Love].

There are times, in the shadows of my life, when I have wrestled with God, fighting for control, struggling to see God. It is the evil one, the devil, who tries to sow the seeds of doubt and guilt into our minds and hearts. Falls are inevitable. We are flawed human beings. God, though, is All-Knowing! God is aware of past, present & future. God never forgets me; never forgets to love me; never forgets to show me mercy and compassion; never forgets to be with me every moment of every day. God completely forgets my sins; so much so that the slate is wiped clean! God gives me chance after chance after chance and forgets all the times I’ve hurt or offended Him.

My child, if you aspire to serve the Lord, prepare yourself for an ordeal! Be sincere of heart, be steadfast, and do not be alarmed when disaster comes. Cling to him and do not leave him, so that you may be honoured at the end of your days. Whatever happens to you, accept it … be patient since gold is tested in fire… Trust him and he will uphold you… [Sirach/Ecclesiasticus 2:1-6].

Real intimacy with God is built on an appreciation of the true nature of our relationship with God, for we know that God’s presence is an absolute necessity. That recognition is at the heart of prayer which bonds us to God, recognising that the affairs of life are often a matter in which we either walk alone or walk with our hand in God’s hand.

Never doubt that God loves us unconditionally and never leaves us – even in those times when life gets in the way.

Have a golden day and treasure life!