Episode 12: It’s Okay To Talk

Episode 12: It’s Okay To Talk

Everyone feels sad sometimes, just like everyone can feel joyful, angry, proud and a range of other emotions. Everyone has feelings, and those feeling are always changing. Sometimes we feel happy and sometimes we feel sad. Whatever the feeling, it is real and a part of living.

Feeling better can involve taking one step or many. Terry Lees offers some tips that may help you to give your pain a voice and offers support from the best-selling book of all time, the Bible.

Silver Linings can inspire you towards the achievement of your dreams, to grow, expand, and meet the challenges of your daily life.

Listen to the episode below, or continue on to read the transcript.

Episode Transcript:

Everyone feels sad sometimes, just like everyone can feel joyful, angry, proud and a range of other emotions. Everyone has feelings, and those feeling are always changing. Sometimes we feel happy and sometimes we feel sad. Whatever the feeling, it is real and a part of living.

Some people think there’s a magic bullet that can make it all better. Well, it can help you feel good when someone touches your heart, but on the other hand, if you are struggling with personal or professional problems, they can be a burden on a relationship, especially if you refuse to talk about it.

Author A. A. Milne highlighted the value of talking things over with a friend in his wonderful book, Winnie the Pooh:-

Pooh woke up that morning, and, for reasons that he didn’t entirely understand, couldn’t stop the tears from coming. He sat there in bed, his little body shaking, and he cried, and cried, and cried.

Amidst his sobs, the phone rang. It was Piglet. “Oh Piglet,” said Pooh, between sobs, in response to his friend’s gentle enquiry as to how he was doing. “I just feel so Sad. So, so, Sad, almost like I might not ever be happy again. And I know that I shouldn’t be feeling like this. I know there are so many people who have it worse off than me, and so I really have no right to be crying, with my lovely house, and my lovely garden, and the lovely woods all around me. But oh, Piglet: I am just SO Sad.”

Piglet was silent for a while, as Pooh’s ragged sobbing filled the space between them. Then, as the sobs turned to gasps, he said, kindly: “You know, it isn’t a competition.” “What isn’t a competition?” asked a confused sounding Pooh.

“Sadness. Fear. Grief,” said Piglet. “It’s a mistake we often make, all of us. To think that, because there are people who are worse off than us, that that somehow invalidates how we are feeling. But that simply isn’t true. You have as much right to feel unhappy as the next person; and, Pooh – and this is the really important bit – you also have just as much right to get the help that you need.”

“Help? What help?” asked Pooh. “I don’t need help, Piglet. “Do I?”

Pooh and Piglet talked for a long time, and Piglet suggested to Pooh some people that he might be able to call to talk to, because when you are feeling Sad, one of the most important things is not to let all of the Sad become trapped inside you, but instead to make sure that you have someone who can help you, who can talk through with you how the Sad is making you feeling, and some of the things that might be able to be done to support you with that.

What’s more, Piglet reminded Pooh that this support is there for absolutely everyone, that there isn’t a minimum level of Sad that you have to be feeling before you qualify to speak to someone.

Finally, Piglet asked Pooh to open his window and look up at the sky, and Pooh did so.

“You see that sky?” Piglet asked his friend. “Do you see the blues and the golds and that big fluffy cloud that looks like a sheep eating a carrot?” Pooh looked, and he could indeed see the blues and the golds and the big fluffy cloud that looked like a sheep eating a carrot.

“You and I,” continued Piglet, “we are both under that same sky. And so, whenever the Sad comes, I want you to look up at that sky, and know that, however far apart we might be physically…we are also, at the same time, together. Perhaps, more together than we have ever been before.”

“Do you think this will ever end?” asked Pooh in a small voice. “This too shall pass,” confirmed Piglet. “And I promise you, one day, you and I shall once again sit together, close enough to touch, sharing a little smackerel of something…under that blue gold sky.”

We all need a piglet in our lives. Learning that it’s okay to talk about our problems can feel a bit like a trip to the dentist. You know that the discomfort will stop once you get the tooth fixed, but you don’t want to go through the uncomfortable process to repair it. And sometimes, with emotional issues, you may be embarrassed to share what’s really going on for you. That’s why it’s so important to talk with someone who is comforting and nonjudgmental.

In the Bible, the Book of Ecclesiastes urges: Two are better than one: … If the one falls, the other will help the fallen one. But woe to the solitary person! If that one should fall, there is no other to help. Paul the Apostle advises: Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up, as indeed you do.

Feeling better can involve taking one step or many. It may happen quickly or over a long time. Just remember that emotions ebb and flow, and you can move through sadness to a more positive emotion.

First, acknowledge that you are feeling sad. Then, look at ways to deal with your sadness. You may want to try some of these tips:

  • Be honest with yourself and the people around you. Talk to someone whom you trust.
  • Help someone else. Just improving someone else’s life, or being part of community, can lift your spirits.
  • Find a creative way to express your sadness. Writing your thoughts in a diary or journal may help you find a new perspective.
  • Do things you enjoy and that are good for you. Find ways to make your life more pleasurable: listen to music, go for a walk, read a book, call a friend.
  • Tackle one problem at a time. It doesn’t matter if you start with the biggest or smallest problem, just make a list and begin.
  • Have confidence that things will improve. You need to trust that your sad feelings will lessen with time and effort.

There will always be problems in our lives, but sometimes we do not have the capacity to handle them all by ourselves. Talking with another person can give you perspective. Just know that you can minimise your problems by discussing them with those you trust. Give your pain a voice and let someone listen. You will be amazed at how much weight will be lifted off your shoulders.

And remember to always look for the silver lining.


This is Terry Lees

[Music: Ordinary Angels – Craig Morgan]